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* Dogwood Blossoms -- Volume 1, Issue 9 -- December '94 *
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* Acting Editor: Andreas Schoter *
* Chief Editor: Gary Warner *
* Editorial Staff: Bill Blohm *
* Gary Gach *
* Charles Trumbull *
* Nori Matsui *
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* SUBMISSIONS and SUBSCRIPTION requests should be directed to *
* BOTH Andreas Schoter and Gary Warner *
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Dogwood Blossoms is a publication of the Internet community.
The goal of this digest is to be a place where Haiku can be
shared and discussed with other lovers of the art. Submissions
are encouraged, both of original work, published work by other
authors, and comments and critiques of works in previous issues.
Articles of "short essay" length are also welcome.
When you subscribe, please volunteer any haiku you would like to
see discussed, indicating if it is published or original...
also, if you would like to serve on the "editorial board" please
indicate so, or if you can serve as a translator for non-English
submissions (which are welcome) please indicate so.
If you are a list owner, and feel that this digest would make an
appropriate posting on your list, please send me a note
indicating so. In this issue:
I. Administrivia (you're there now!)
II. A Note from the Editor
III. Original Haiku by our subscribers
IV. Rhyming Haiku
V. The Beginner's Corner
VI. Concerning the Creative Haiku Process
VI. Review: Haiku Harvest
VII. Review: A Haiku Menagerie
IX. Assignments for Next Issue
Dogwood Blossoms is intended to be distributed "AS-IS" in its
entirety. Any excerpts from Dogwood Blossoms must include the
Source Statement (below) from the issue from which it is
excerpted unless reprint permission is given by the original
author, to whom all rights revert upon publication. Dogwood
Blossoms reserves the right to use in current or future
electronic or print publications any submissions received.
/* Begin Source Statement */
Dogwood Blossoms Issue 9, December 1994
An Electronic Haiku Magazine
All subscription requests and submissions should be directed to:
Gary Warner
/* End Source Statement */
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II. Editor's Note
*************************************************************
Hi!
Well, we're back again at last. A huge apology for everyone
who's been waiting for us: the usual excuses - you know, pressure
of work and everything. But, "hello again" to our regular
subscribers, and "welcome" to our new friends.
What's happened now is that we've restructured ourselves a little
to ensure that editorial duties get distributed over a wider
area. Gary is still the *real* chief editor, I'm acting editor
for this issue, and much thanks to the rest of the editorial
staff (especially Bill and Charles) who've made this issue
possible through their effort. We hope that this new approach
will mean that Dogwood Blossoms really will appear at regular
bimonthly intervals. So, expect the next issue at the start of
February 1995.
What's really impressive is that, even though we've not been
publishing, our subscriptions have been growing, and growing. We
now have over 430 subscribers! So, please send us your haiku and
articles and reviews.
Unfortunately we lost our ftp site shortly after the last issue.
A new FTP site is available at:
catless.ncl.ac.uk
/pub/haiku
courtesy of Lindsay Marshall
and we have the beginnings of a World Wide Web server on Gary's
machine:
http://199.20.16.10/homepage.htm
aka http://glwarner.samford.edu/homepage.htm
and go to the Dogwood Blossoms section. For those of you without
a web browser, back issues are available if you want them. Just
let Gary, Bill, or myself know, and we'll send you whatever
issues you request.
All the best, and see you in the New Year
Andreas
*************************************************************
III. Original Haiku from our Subscribers
*************************************************************
(11) crow pitching cut grass
this way and that
busy in the dawn
(1) Refreshing shower
Pours from my watering can
Catching a rainbow
(3) a green wheat field grows
between long strands of barbed wire
drones a crop duster
(5) traffic lights,
Queens Boulevard; slow rise
and fall of surf
(4) surrounded by empty hangers
coat check girl alone
this warm spring night
(10) The simple pleasure
of blooming geraniums
lifts my eyes from work.
(7) Grey and yellow clouds.
Morning sky fragrant with earth.
Ground littered with rain.
(11) in this light through the
curtain, almost like snow:
cherries' early blossoms
(1) Midday,
Middle of the street:
Leaf-fall
(2) Translucent dogwood
blossoms whisper in the day,
quivering in the sun.
(10) The wall glows:
Sunset and street light
combining.
(6) star window mirror star
(12) Misplaced . . .
There between Hardy and Homer
A slim haiku book.
(11) little dog
nothing but railroad
tracks, big moon
(1) Evening prayer call:
Voices colour the spaces
Outlined by swallows
(9) Jet flies overhead
Drawing a deep thread of sound
Through the wide sky.
(10) Last year's dog rose
cut back to woody stumps
explodes again.
(8) as she stepped closer
he noticeably started to flush--
moonlit summer night
(3) shopping in the mall
in the maddening bustle. . .
cheerful little kids
(12) Withdrawing my hand
The tiniest drop of blood
In place of the rose.
(3) gently I paddle
parting early morning mists
startled deer and I
(11) day pour tings in you til yr broken;
go on to pour
cause you so leaky
The Poets:
(1) Philip Adams pka@dmu.ac.uk
(2) Joseph Black DougieLvKY@aol.com
(3) Bill Blohm bblohm@hpbs1686.boi.hp.com
(4) Chuck Easter salparadis@aol.com
"surrounded by empty hangers" was originally
published in Brussels Sprout.
(5) Tom Frenkel frenkel@cucis.cis.columbia.edu
(6) Dana Garrett DanaVG@aol.com
"star window mirror star" was orginally published in
Cicada.
(7) Dave Goboff Davego@aol.com
(8) Steve Markley SteveYo@aol.com
(9) Marietta Mehes Gat Ryonen@aol.com
(10) Andreas Schoter asch@cogsci.ed.ac.uk
(11) James Terral jterral@unixg.ubc.ca
(12) Charles Trumbull TrumbullC@aol.com
***************************************************************
IV. Rhyming Haiku
***************************************************************
by Charles Trumbull
Rhymed haiku in English is far from the norm, but by the same
token, rhymed verse in general has fallen out of fashion.
Writers seems to feel that rhyme, meter, and other such tools
interfere with the purity of the poetic content or dilute the
emotional directness of the message. Avoidance of poetics,
however, can lead to an impoverishment of poetry, and there is a
risk involved in casting off those very attributes of a poem that
distinguish it from prose. While good haiku and good poetry can
be written without rhyme, and rhyme is not vital to the success
of a haiku, nevertheless, form can and should be used where
appropriate to enhance the content.
Harold Henderson, writing in 1967 (9), observed that only one
rhymed haiku had won any prize in the journal American Haiku (in
vol. 2, no. 2), the following one by Ethel Freeman:
Brown mimosa seed
where blossoms once invited
hummingbirds to feed.
(Henderson also mentions an article on rhyme by W.H. Kerr in
American Haiku, vol. 3, no. 1, which I have not been able to
locate -- does anyone have a copy?)
The current approach to English-language haiku is well expressed
in Lorraine Ellis Harr's "The Isn'ts of Haiku" (7), in which she
makes two points about rhyme:
"Haiku ISN'T poetics (in the English-language poetry sense) but
it IS pure poetry.
"ÕHåaiku should flow, especially when read aloud. It doesn't
rhyme, except rarely. AVOID run-on lines. . . ."
One is not certain if the "except rarely" is intended as a
license to rhyme or an apology for an occasional accident.
Harr's emphasis on "pure poetry," however, sidesteps the
important fact that haiku in Japanese is a prescriptive art form,
with rules governing syllable count, structure, word selection,
and content. Can English-language haiku, then, simply ignore all
stylistic restrictions? If writers of haiku in Japanese make use
of the range of poetic devices available in that language, should
authors in other languages not avail themselves of the
conventions of their own poetic traditions? Even more
questionable, of course, would be to appropriate one aspect of
the Japanese form while ignoring others (12):
To write a haiku
Count seventeen syllables
(Nothing else counts much).
One way to see the benefits that rhyme can bring might be to
compare the same haiku unrhymed and rhymed, as can be done with
translations. Juxtaposing versions of one poem as interpreted by
different translators is a fascinating exercise it itself!
Resisting the temptation to digress, however, and admitting up
front that many factors besides rhyme affect the success of a
poem in translation, I would argue that Harold Henderson's rhymed
versions of the following three haiku by Basho are certainly no
worse than, and usually superior to, the others. The
transliterated Japanese originals with which each section begins
are also Henderson's (8):
Shizukasa ya iwa ni shimi-iru semi-no-koe
How quiet --
locust-shrill
pierces rock (13)
How still it is!
Cicadas
burning in the sun
Drilling into rock . . . (3)
>From silent temple,
voice of a lone cicada
penetrates rock walls. (2)
silence itself is
in the rock saturated
are cicada sounds (4)
So still:
into rocks it pierces --
the locust-shrill (8)
So still . . .
into the rocks it pierces,
the cicada-shrill. (9)
Henderson latches onto the ingenious "still-shrill" pairing in
the fifth translation above and keeps it for another version, the
sixth, that he published nine years later. Note the short first
line, which (especially with the ellipsis) tends to attenuate the
rhyme. Is the rhyme in the last two translations here any less
valid poetically than the heavy use of alliteration in the
fourth?
Inazuma ya yami-no-kata yuku goi-no koe
A flash of lightning;
Through the darkness goes
The scream of the night heron. (1)
Lightning --
heron-cry
stabs darkness. (13)
Lightning flickering
without sound . . .
How far away
the night-heron cries. (3)
Heat-lightning streak --
through darkness pierces
the heron's shriek. (10)
A lightning gleam:
into darkness travels
a night heron's scream. (8)
The fourth translation is by an unnamed poet but has the feel of
Henderson's hand. Another clever selection of rhymes is made,
"streak" and "shriek," both words suggesting rapid motion through
space, one visual and one aural. In this instance the rhyme
contributes to the unexpected relating of two senses, sight and
sound, that is a key element of haiku. The fifth translation is
somewhat less successful but introduces an air of mystery abetted
by the rhyme words "gleam" and "scream." Did the lightning
actually discharge, or is it only a metaphor for the sudden cry
of the bird?
Haru nare ya na-mo-naki yama-no asa-gasumi
Thanks to Spring, a nameless hill
Has its veil of morning mist. (11)
Because spring has come,
this small gray nameless mountain
Is honored by mist. (3)
Spring -- through
morning mist,
what mountain's there? (13)
Oh, these spring days!
A nameless little mountain,
Wrapped in morning haze! (8)
This is clearly a difficult verse to translate. It is important
to convey the sense of total joy at a spring morning that even
places a coronet of mist on a humble little hill. Here the rhyme
in the final variant provides a lightness that the others lack.
In the Preface to his pioneering haiku handbook (8) Henderson
defends his use of rhyme in his English translations of the
Japanese masters in the following terms:
"First, I happen to like rhyme in a short poem of this sort, and
I think that it is at least allowable. The chief reason that
Japanese do not use it is that all Japanese words end either in a
vowel or in "n," and rhyming would soon become intolerably
monotonous. Secondly, I think that any verse form, be it sonnet,
triolet, or haiku, is more effective if it is kept fairly rigid,
so that it can act as kind of a frame to the picture. In
Japanese the effect of definite form is given by an alteration of
five and seven syllables; in English this method is impossible,
and the use of rhyme or assonance, especially if it can be kept
unobtrusive, is perhaps the best available substitute. Thirdly,
haiku are very short, and their grammar is often fragmentary.
There is real danger that a literal translation might be mistaken
for an unfinished piece of prose, and a haiku is not that, but a
poem, complete as it stands."
The key words are "allowable" and "unobtrusive." In fact, this is
the approach endorsed by J.W. Hackett, one of the greatest haiku
masters writing in English: "Rhyme and other poetic devices
should never be so obvious that they detract from the content,"
(5) or again in another volume: "Avoid end rhyme in haiku. Read
each verse aloud to make sure that it sounds natural." (6)
Hackett, who always places the "pure poetry" aspects of his haiku
first, applies his formulation for rhyme brilliantly, as in the
following selection (5):
In the greens of that tree
a squak of blue is playing
hide and seek with me.
Hackett pairs the first and third lines, probably the most common
rhyme scheme. He is playing with the words and the reader,
however, because "tree" is stressed but "me" cannot be; the
meaning would be changed. Hackett's words are playing
hide-and-seek too!
At the summit tree,
my exhausted dog lifts his leg --
a dry formality.
Playing with the text again: the rhyme emphasizes the comic
effect of the Latinate final word.
Rocks stacked high with snow
narrow the wild stream into
a ribbon of flow.
This haiku has no punctuation, but the rhyme sets the caesura and
invites comparison between the subject, "snow," and the object,
"flow."
Clouted by a dew,
the horn of this snail withdrew
and just disappeared!
A lovely haiku! "Withdrew" suggests the end of the main thought,
making the remaining line something of a coda, trailing off,
subtly but precisely emphasizing the text.
Now soar butterfly --
but hereafter take more care,
webs are everywhere.
Hackett gets the reverse effect here. By rhyming the second and
third lines, he liberates the first -- and allows his butterfly
to soar!
One must kneel to see
the tiny yellow bugs that
run the creeping slug.
Internal rhyme here, more subtle, and something Hackett does
often. The rhyme adds complexity, especially rhythmic interest,
calling a caesura after "bugs" and giving the poem a very
appropriate "three-against-two" feeling.
Finally, consider this more recent haiku from the late Nicholas
Virgilio in which the rhyme has less to do with structure and
more to do with mood. Virgilio achieves an eerie sense of
foreboding (14).
Adding father's name
to the family tombstone
with room for my own.
_______________
Works cited:
(1) Robert Aitken, A Zen Wave: Basho's Haiku and Zen
(Weatherhill, 1978).
(2) James David Andrews, Full Moon Is Rising
(Branden Press, 1976).
(3) Peter Beilenson and Harry Behn, in Haiku Harvest
(Peter Pauper Press, 1962).
(4) Cid Corman, One Man's Moon (Gnomon Press, 1984).
(5) J.W. Hackett, Haiku Poetry, Volume Three
(Japan Publications, 1968).
(6) James Hackett, The Way of Haiku: An Anthology of Haiku Poems
(Japan Publication, 1969), as cited in "Suggestions for
Writing Haiku in English" in Dogwood Blossoms, issue 2.
(7) Lorraine Ellis Harr, "The ISN'TS of Haiku" in Dogwood Blossoms,
"Issue Zero."
(8) Harold G. Henderson, in An Introduction to Haiku
(Doubleday Anchor, 1958).
(9) Harold G. Henderson, Haiku in English (Tuttle, 1967).
(10) unnamed translator, in X.J. Kennedy, An Introduction to
Poetry (Scott, Foresman, 7th ed., 1990).
(11) Asataro Miyamori, An Anthology of Haiku, Ancient and Modern
(Greenwood Press, 1970--orig. pub., 1932).
(12) Ron Rubin, in E.O. Parrott, "How to be Well-Versed in Poetry
(Penguin, 1990).
(13) Lucien Stryk, in Basho: On Love and Barley (Penguin, 1985).
(14) Cor van den Heuvel, The Haiku Anthology (Touchstone,
rev. ed., 1991).
***************************************************************
V. Beginner's Corner
***************************************************************
by Bill Blohm
First of all, thanks to all the budding poets who submitted haiku
for this inaugural installment of what I hope will become a
regular feature of Dogwood Blossoms!
One of the things I was hoping would become evident to readers
was the way different writers would see the same scene. I think
that this goal has been achieved. Although each author was
describing the same scene, only the very basics of that scene
were specified. I fully expected the authors to provide some
additional detail but insisted that they remain within the
working framework provided. Please see Dogwood Blossoms, issue
#8, for the setting I provided.
A quick summary for those of you who may not have access to issue
#8. The assignment was to write a haiku using a basic scene
specified by me. The rules and scene were as follows:
Rules:
strict 5-7-5 format is to be followed
fundamental haiku rules must be followed, except that
you do not have to have been there yourself
any details filled in must be valid for setting
Scene:
You have hiked for several hours. Tired, you sit down beside a
stream for a light lunch. Nearby is a small waterfall. As you
sit, quietly looking over the stream a small doe cautiously
appears, takes a drink, and leaves.
I decided not to accept one haiku. Its last line read "Joined by
nature sprites." My objection is strictly to this one line.
Remember that in writing a haiku, you are trying to provide a
picture, and what is in that picture must also be recordable by a
camera. Sprites are, as far as I know, ethereal beings and thus
not photogenic. One instance where this line could be valid is
if one saw a stranger in a waterfall as a sprite, especially if
the person was of the opposite sex and attractive. But still,
the use of the word "sprite" conjures up the supernatural, and
that is something not normally incorporated into haiku. In this
case, I do not think there is anything to indicate the presence
of another person.
Below are the six haiku submitted to the Beginners Corner. The
authors are indicated by the number on the last line of the
haiku. The corresponding list of names and e-mail addresses
appears at the end of the article. I shall discuss these haiku
by reference to this number. If the readers of Dogwood Blossoms
wish to comment on these haiku, please keep in mind these are
supposed to be beginners and that the setting was provided
beforehand. As a result, the authors may not be able to provide
any details about the "outing" in the haiku.
One initial comment applies to most of the haiku below. It is, I
suppose, a result of our Western civilization that in our poetry
we almost always capitalize the first word of a line. That is,
it has become natural for us Westerners to automatically
capitalize the first letter of the first word on a line in
poetry, or of a sentence. Look, for example, how odd the work of
e.e. cummings appears to Westerners when we first read it. Some
languages, such as Japanese and Arabic, do not even have
capitals. Capitalization is not a requirement of writing haiku.
Proper nouns, of course, would normally require capitalization,
but you as an author of a haiku are under no such requirement to
capitalize the first word of each line. If you don't capitalize,
then you have the option to emphasize some word or picture by
capitalizing a word. As an example, compare the three lines "a
deer steps into the light," "a Deer steps into the light" and "a
deer steps into the Light."
Deer cautiously creeps
Carefully through the meadow
Streamnoise masks my smile. (1)
Biting my apple
Water splashing in the pool
A deer dips her head (2)
At her waterfall,
Eyeing the stranger shyly,
A doe drinks, withdraws. (3)
Ear turns, eye follows
dark pool below the falls
doe spies my repast. (4)
Deer in forests green
Fawns by noisy rapids play
Wolf sees its next meal. (5)
Warm brie, champagne toast
Shy deer kisses wet grey stones
El Capitan shines. (6)
(1) "Streamnoise" should probably be split into the two words.
Reading it, there is a slight distraction as my mind tries to
absorb this unexpected compounded word. Otherwise, I think this
is a good haiku. The introduction of the meadow is allowed as I
was deliberately vague on the details other than to specify a
waterfall. The stream noise acknowledges this, and often there
is a small meadow near a stream or waterfall.
(2) This is interesting. It provides a lot of extra detail by
the mention of other features. For example, "deer" indicates
that you are not specifically in a civilized place. Water
splashing in the pool makes the reader guess as to why the
splash, which is not altogether desirable. Yet, since the
waterfall in the scene is specified (See DB 8, Beginner's Corner)
it could be assumed that everyone knows the waterfall is there
and causing the splash. The general reader not familiar with
Dogwood Blossoms would be at a loss as to why the splash, and
would most likely assume it was caused by the deer dipping her
head into the pool. Hence, it is not ambiguous to the point of
being a problem, but is something to keep in mind. Hikers would
probably grasp the idea that you are resting by the pool, because
usually you would stop to eat something like an apple. Not
always, but this is another point to keep in mind. The comments
about the splash apply here as well. Finally, the line "Biting
my apple" is vague also: who is biting the apple, the deer or the
author? Such ambiguity could be avoided by selecting a different
construction, say, something along the lines of "I bite my
apple." All in all, a bit ambiguous but an excellent start!
(3) This haiku has an interesting twist to it, one not evidenced
by any of the others. Here, the perspective is from the
viewpoint of the deer rather than the hiker/author. All too
often, in our "arrogance" we tend to forget the viewpoint of
others, be they human or animal or whatever. This haiku is a
refreshing break in that it acknowledges that the author is the
visitor and the doe is in her home. It is a good way to pass on
to the reader some of the wonder the author feels at the event.
This haiku, I think, can stand as it is.
(4) The most confusing line here is the first one. Whose ear?
Whose eye? It is not possible to tell from the haiku whether it
was the author or the deer who first heard the other. I really
like the rhythm, the flow from line to line, but I cannot tell
who is doing what, and for me the haiku falls apart as I spend
more time figuring out who did what than just reading and
enjoying the haiku. Actions, if they are included, should not be
left ambiguous. The idea is there, but the ambiguity needs to be
taken out so that the reader knows who is doing what.
(5) There is nothing really wrong with this. The poem implies a
herd of deer without having to state specifically that there is a
herd, which would then require an answer to the question, "a herd
of what?" A beautiful piece of compactness. The picture of
impending action, the wolf striking at a fawn, adds an element of
excitement sometimes difficult to include in a haiku. The
question is left hanging in the air: Did the wolf get its meal,
or did the fawns detect the attack, in spite of the noise of the
water, in time to escape? One thing I wish to point out here, is
that in this haiku, I will accept the wolf because I specified
the setting and left the details up to the author. If this were
written and submitted as an original haiku based on the author's
experiences, it would be required that he or she have actually
experienced the entire scene and not thrown in the wolf to
provide the element of suspense. I mention this only because it
is an easy trap to fall into if one is not careful. I am
fortunate to live where I have actually had encounters in the
wild with wolves, but some of us can only dream of such. Such
dreams, however powerful a poem they make, have no place in a
haiku. Haiku are snapshots of reality, be they scenes or
experiences, and this needs to be kept in mind. A beautiful
haiku.
(6) Warm brie and champagne toast bespeak a hiker who likes the
finer things of life, even when out in nature. As is, however,
these refinements do not really provide anything to the haiku.
Too much foreknowledge is assumed for the reader: that he or she
understands that this scene is tied to Dogwood Blossoms #8
Beginners Corner. If this poem were to be posted on a bulletin
board in a hallway, few people would be able to tie in the cheese
and toast. One could infer that they are a snack for the author,
but that is not obvious until the last line is read. The reader
starts out a little puzzled, and that can detract from the
enjoyment of the haiku. One other comment: it is obvious you are
in a national park--the reference to El Capitan gives that. A
reader who didn't know about Dogwood Blossoms #8 could not tell
if you were in your car, at a roadside pull-out, at a picnic
area, or what. You might want to work on this also.
The one problem that I have with all these haiku is that no
specific location can be determined. No one, except (5) and
perhaps (6), gives enough information for us to know if these
haiku take place by a meadow in the forest, by a waterfall near a
farm, in a petting-zoo-type setting, in the hills, in the
mountains, or any such. There is nothing specific enough to
actually picture the place itself. Enough detail should be given
that the reader does not have to guess at the place, but can
readily grasp from the haiku the generic location. Some haiku
can be written in a general fashion because of the situation
being described. If we were describing an action or ctivity,
then describing that act clearly is more important than a clear
description of the scene where it happened. However, in this
excersise, our goal is to describe describe a scene. Therefore
the most important thing is to avoid ambiguity as to location or
what is going on. A reader would, I think, assume that these
haiku were the result of hiking somewhere and would probably
provide automatically the location he or she would expect to have
such an encounter in. The use of the deer sets this up, so it is
not something that has to be fixed explicitly. But what about
people who have no experience in the outdoors? If it is possible
that you are describing something that could take place anywhere,
it then becomes important that you eliminate as many of the
erroneous guesses as to where it is happening. To test this
observation, I read some of these haiku to others and asked what
sort of location they envisioned. They came up with a stream in
the woods, a meadow by a stream, near a farm. Two had no
location at all in mind and said they pictured an action but not
scenery.
All in all, I am pleased that you contributors to the first
Beginners Corner have such a good grasp of how to write haiku.
Each of you has a different viewpoint, and by reading these poems
with one another--together with the comments pertinent to the
individual haiku--I'm sure you can gain insights to improving
your own work. Remember, these are simply MY opinion. I am not
an expert by any means, and there are others who will challenge
some of what I say. My comments are meant only to guide you, not
to become set rules by which you write haiku.
So, here is your assignment: fix up the haiku so that they
deliver to the reader a specific location rather than just "in a
meadow" or "by a stream." Don't lose sight of your original
picture in the process. Authors (5) and (6) have enough of a
location already and can ignore this part and concentrate on the
comments specific to their haiku. Although I said I would
provide individual feedback via e-mail to the various authors, I
was unable to do so. Now that I am getting caught up on stuff, I
fully expect to be able to do so in the future. Send your
revisions or comments to me at this e-mail address:
bblohm@hpbs1686.boi.hp.com.
(1) Kathy Wedeking, zzdpbi@acc.wuacc.edu
(2) Lindsay Marshall, Lindsay.Marshall@newcastle.ac.uk
(3) Charles Trumbull, TrumbullC@aol.com
(4) Andrea, ALPet@aol.com
(5) Thomas Wolf, zzwolf@acc.wuacc.edu
(6) Maggie Johnson, MJOHNSON@UKCC.UKY.EDU
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VI. Concerning the Creative Haiku Process
*****************************************************************
A forum on issues concerning the creative process in writing
haiku. Readers are encouraged to describe their personal
experiences, approaches, problems, joys, hang-ups, dead ends,
insights--whatever--in creating haiku. We begin with two ideas
from DB veterans Andreas Schoter and Debbie Blohm.
==================================
How to Make it Easy to Write Haiku
==================================
by Andreas Schoter
Here are a few pointers on how I approach writing haiku. It's
been an interesting exercise to try and make explicit some of the
elements of the process: it's made me think about what I do, but
also it's made me think about what I ought to be doing. In a
sense, perhaps, it's got less to do with how I write haiku than
with how I make sure I can be in a position to write haiku. So,
as someone who abhors imposing rules on the creative process (or
on its results), here we go:
Rule One: Always carry a notebook and pen(cil). To continue with
Bill's analogy from DB volume 1 issue 7, not having a notebook
with you is like taking your camera, but not bothering to put in
a film. You have NO idea when a haiku moment will find you. If
you can't record it soon after you've passed through it, then you
risk loosing it completely.
That's it, really. On the other hand, no good guide is complete
without it's additional commentary . . .
Write down whole haiku, single lines, phrases, or whatever,
straight away. Don't wait; it's frightening how the littlest
distractions can blow that perfect pattern of words from your
mind. Write down everything. If it turns out to be rubbish
later you've lost nothing. If you don't write it down and you
forget it, then you've no idea what you might have lost. Having
said that, writing it down doesn't set it in stone. Write it
down to keep yourself from losing it, but then continue to mull
it over.
Writing down everything is like planting seeds for yourself
later: the flip side of keeping a notebook is rereading your
notes. Something that seemed obvious or transparent at first may
later turn out to be a many-faceted crystal.
Haiku can be an excellent way of opening yourself up to the flow
of experience. Sharing the places where other haijin have found
moments of light impresses me with the importance of the
everyday. Everything is equally important. On the other hand
writing haiku can be a excellent way of stopping the flow of
experience.
Constantly trying to capture little moments on film can mean not
only that you miss the next moment but, because you're constantly
on the lookout for that "haiku moment," you never really get it--
the expectations overwhelm it.
It's like walking a tightrope. Like tai chi, it requires focused
clarity, and focused clarity comes only from a relaxed mind.
So, always carry a notebook, but forget why you've got it with
you.
================
A Haiku Exercise
================
by Debbie Blohm
I consider myself an amateur poet, but I thought I might pass
along an exercise that I find helpful when writing haiku.
I write very quickly. I put my thoughts down, only taking time
to count the syllables and make sure I have the required 5-7-5.
Sometimes I feel like I have written the best haiku ever, but I
could be wrong (that happens occasionally :^) ). I put the haiku
aside and come back to it later. Then I try to read it as a
stranger might, to see what kind of picture it evokes. I
sometimes revise a haiku two or three times before I am satisfied
that it tells the reader what I want it to. Once in a while I
get one right the first time.
I write haiku because I enjoy it. I don't hound myself until
every word is perfect, because I think a person could literally
spend the rest of their lives working on one haiku. It might
never seem perfect, and the writer might very well forget what he
or she was trying to say. This takes the fun out of writing.
Instead of getting peace of mind from haiku you could end up with
a tension headache.
So I say, take your time, make changes if necessary, and by all
means enjoy!
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VII. Book Reviews: Haiku Harvest
*****************************************************************
_Haiku Harvest_
Japanese Haiku, Series IV
Translation by Peter Beilenson and Harry Behn
Decorations by Jeff Hill
Mount Vernon, NY: The Peter Pauper Press, 1962
reviewed by Bill Blohm
Intended for the general haiku reader, this little book (4.325" x
7.5") comprises 61 pages of haiku by the old masters translated
into English. Each page contains four haiku, with "decorations"
(two-color pen drawings) on the outer edges that sometimes
correspond to a verse on that page. The masters featured are
Basho, Buson, Issa, Shiki, and others.
This book would have been the fourth in a series compiled by
Beilenson. As Harry Behn wrote in the Foreword, "This should have
been Peter Beilenson's book. He had just come to Basho's joyous
shout about bringing a snowball in by the fire, when he died."
Behn was asked to complete the book, translating the remaining
haiku according to the method that Beilenson would use.
With over 600 haiku translations to his credit, Beilenson ranks
among the great admirers of the form, and this publication
reflects that. This little book presents a wide range of haiku.
Some really moved me, some were amusing, and some seemed merely
to be sentences lined up to conform with the 5-7-5 rule. One
finds examples of every Western translation style. This book
does not attempt to follow the 5-7-5 rule exactly, however.
Rather, it attempts to present honestly what the compiler(s) felt
the Japanese poets might have written in English.
This is a book that is meant to be read time and time again, so
great is the range of haiku. Depending upon my mood, at one time
a certain verse was merely words on a page to me; upon a later
reading, this same haiku came alive and was thoroughly enjoyable.
*****************************************************************
VIII. Book Reviews: A Haiku Menagerie
*****************************************************************
_A Haiku Menagerie: Living Creatures in Poems and Prints_
By Stephen Addiss with Fumiko and Akira Yamamoto
1992 Weatherhill of NewYork and Tokyo
ISBN 0-8348-0248-1
Reviewed by: Gary Warner
_A Haiku Menagerie_ is an attempt by the editors to remind us of
our link to the world around us, which, as they point out, is a
link more and more often obscured by our enclosure in "concrete
jungles" of our own design. Haiku is stressed as being an
appropriate medium for this reestablishment of recognition
between ourselves and our coinhabitants of this world from the
animal kingdom. The book is divided into "Walkers" "Crawlers"
"Fliers" and "Swimmers" and each section is populated by
appropriately themed haiku. The editors have tried to show that
haiku did not focus on the grandeur or nobility of its subjects,
as did the earlier *waka*, with its emphasis on the "nobler
animals", such as the unicorn and dragon. In order to support
this assertion, the works of Issa, most known for his "insect"
haiku, as well as works on snails, sparrows, and even sea slugs
are used.
While Issa does a great job of supporting their hypothesis, the
haiku they have selected would be considered "questionable" by
the standards often reflected in today's English haiku movement,
which are quick to judge poems as being too anthropocentric,
or too filled with self-reference instead of focusing on the
scene at hand. The argument that is commonly heard, is that
by allowing self-reference or personification of the subject,
the author does not allow the reader to approach the scene on
his own, but rather is forced to see the scene through the
eyes of the author.
The editors address just such concerns in their introduction
where they argue that what is commonly called "anthropocentric"
could be viewed in another light. Discussing the following
poem of Issa:
Challenging me
to a staring game --
a giant frog
the editors say: "Here the poet's view is still anthropocentric,
but the relationship between him and the frog does not allow
human sentiment to override animal existence. It is instead
a personification, in which creatures and humans become fellow
members of the same world, with equal rights. Empathy is
perfected."
Most of the poems selected reflect the extreme anthropomorphism
for which Issa was famous, as well as self-reference, which is
looked down upon by many in today's western haiku circles:
The cricket
proudly pricks up its whiskers
and sings
Like some of us
he looks very important --
this snail
Don't hit me!
The fly wrings its hands
and wrings its feet
Mosquito larvae
dancing a Buddhist chant
in the water by the grave
Wild geese murmuring--
are they spreading
rumors about me?
(all by Issa)
Issa wrote a full quarter of the 120 haiku selected,
while more noted authors, such as Basho have only nine poems, and
Buson and Shiki appear less frequently than such lesser known
poets as Kikaku and Kyorai. While this has the benefit of
introducing many deserving yet lesser known poets, the overall
effect on this reader was to believe that the masters' works did
not fulfill the tenant put forth by the editors, and so they
turned to lesser poets.
Still, some classic poems appear to redeem the day, such as this
by Basho:
Tranquility --
the voice of the cicada
seeps into the rocks
and this reader is grateful for the introduction to several of the
less translated poets such as this poem by Kikaku:
The pond reflects
a flying squirrel
over the wisteria
In order to support the thesis of the book, many poems of
questionable quality were included. The quality of the
selections is greatly redeemed by two factors: documentation and
art. Each page of the book is dominated by beautiful ukiyo-e
(woodblock prints) and the artwork is wonderfully paired with its
surrounding haiku to make both more impressive by their
juxtaposition. The attractive arrangement of the poems, all
listed in English and in kanji, also helps make the book
attractive. For documentation, a brief biographical sketch of
each author and artist is included, showing their major
contributions and influences, and serving as an excellent tool
for further investigation of those whose style is found to be
appealing. The essay on "Japanese Woodblock Books" is very
enlightening, and with the bibliography showing the sources of
the ukiyo-e selected for this book, serves as an excellent
introduction to those interested in further study. The inclusion
of works from most of Basho's ten chief disciples, as well as
major students of Shiki and others is a rare treat, as these
poets often fade into obscurity in the shadow of their
greater-known instructors.
****************************************************************
IX. Assignments for Future Issues
****************************************************************
The editors thank all who submitted the articles and haiku that
make up this issue of Dogwood Blossoms.
To all our readers, we ask that you continue to send in your
original haiku, and any haiku related articles that you think
may interest other haiku poets. Additionally, please consider
trying one or more of the following "Assignments":
1. Try out the "Beginner's Corner". It's probably too late to
have a scene for this published as the next issue will wrap up
this scene and start a new one. But if you want to give it a
try, feel free to send it in for criticism and help. If you
are having any problems with a scene or haiku, feel free to
send that to Bill for help and discussion.
2. If you have any ideas that you think will help others write
haiku, write it up and send it in. If it helps you, it will
probably help someone else. And that's one of the goals of
Dogwood Blossoms: haiku poets helping haiku poets.
3. WE ARE DESPERATE FOR ORIGINAL HAIKU!!!!!
As ever, we always want and need your original haiku.
Sometimes we get enough, sometimes not, and sometimes so many
we carry them over to another issue. But we are always
interested in your original haiku. If you don't want to
publish it, but do want some help and constructive criticism,
we'll respect that also.
4. We're always looking for book reviews and recommendations.
Write up your favorite book of haikus, book about writing
haikus, or anything about haikus. Please include the ISBN of
the book, the publishers, the date of publication, and the
author. This will help others to track down a copy of the
book.
5. One of our more successful previous assignments was to look
out the window and write a haiku about what you see. This
time, try writing a haiku about something you see on the way
to work or class. Take a new look at the world you traverse
on your daily commute. When you send it in, indicate whether
you want it listed in Dogwood Blossoms Issue 9 Assignment #5
or just as an original haiku.
6. Send a short note, telling what you thought of issue 9, or
responding to any of the Haiku that were included in this
issue. Encourage the contributors! Let them know what you
thought of their submissions. Offer suggestions for
improvement and why you think it would be an improvement. We
delibrately include their e-mail addresses (unless requested
not to) so that you can e-mail the author if you prefer.
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