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* Dogwood Blossoms -- Volume 2, Issue 1 -- March '95 *
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* Chief Editor: Gary Warner *
* Editorial Staff: Bill Blohm *
* Andreas Schoter *
* Gary Gach *
* Charles Trumbull *
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* SUBMISSIONS and SUBSCRIPTION requests should be directed to *
* BOTH Andreas Schoter and Gary Warner *
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Dogwood Blossoms is a publication of the Internet community.
The goal of this digest is to be a place where Haiku can be
shared and discussed with other lovers of the art. Submissions
are encouraged, both of original work, published work by other
authors, and comments and critiques of works in previous issues.
Articles of "short essay" length are also welcome.
When you subscribe, please volunteer any haiku you would like to
see discussed, indicating if it is published or original...
also, if you would like to serve on the "editorial board" please
indicate so, or if you can serve as a translator for non-English
submissions (which are welcome) please indicate so.
If you are a list owner, and feel that this digest would make an
appropriate posting on your list, please send me a note
indicating so. In this issue:
I. Administrivia (you're there now!)
II. A Note from the Editor
III. Original Haiku by our subscribers
IV. The Beginner's Corner
V. Rediscovering Haiga with Ann Atwood
VI. Showing and Saying
VII. Haiku Reductions
VIII. Assignments for Next Issue
Dogwood Blossoms is intended to be distributed "AS-IS" in its
entirety. Any excerpts from Dogwood Blossoms must include the
Source Statement (below) from the issue from which it is
excerpted unless reprint permission is given by the original
author, to whom all rights revert upon publication. Dogwood
Blossoms reserves the right to use in current or future
electronic or print publications any submissions received.
/* Begin Source Statement */
Dogwood Blossoms Volume 2, Issue 1, March 1995
An Electronic Haiku Magazine
All subscription requests and submissions should be directed to:
Gary Warner
/* End Source Statement */
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II. Editor's Note
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We have had another wave of new subscribers, and are so thrilled
to have you all, both those who are unpublished explorers, and
those who come to us with "Official Credentials". I hope that
new subscribers from both groups, and those of us who fall in
between those categories, will feel welcome to send us your
poems, comments, essays or articles!
Several people have sent notes saying that they would like to
learn more about writing haiku, but are too embarassed to send
in their poems. Don't be shy! We do not print every poem we
receive, and will refrain from printing yours if you request
us to do so. You can send in poems and ask for help with polishing
here, and we will be glad to help, but you may also be interested
in exploring a new Haiku discussion group on the net called
SHIKI-L. To join SHIKI-L, send a mail message to:
Majordomo@cc.matsuyama-u.ac.jp
with the following command in the body of the message:
subscribe shiki YOUR NAME
You will then be able to send your poems and questions there
for instant review and comment by the other list members. We
hope you will still send us your work also so that it can be
shared with our 500+ subscribers as well!
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III. Original Haiku by our Subscribers
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<1> my childhood home-
it seems so
small now
<15> From over the hill
at sunset, the voices of
children at play
<1> a new storm-
the moon was
racing the clouds for a second
<2> The moon shines on
The pond and
The scales of minnows
In the dark water.
<17> tendrils
racing frost
up the post
<9> in Massachusetts
waiting for first snow to fall --
fly on my window!
<17> not enough geese
in this late flight to make
a proper vee.
<16> one, two, three, four, five
horses huddle against barn
cold wind-blown snow falls
<4> In arching stillness
Skates hiss on pristine ice
Burning eyes and nose
<8> snow falls across red
gradebook full of numbers
- yet its cover's green.
<17> watching blackbirds feed:
yellow seed-pile on the snow . . .
peppering my egg.
<9> waking from a dream
of first snow on the cedars --
white hairs on my chest!
<14> All the drag queens died
glitter turns to ash and tears
empty cocktail dress
<14> How to die so young
when dying is so prolonged
tennis shoes still new
<4> Wrong number, he said
And stared at his dinner plate
The look in her eyes
<7> Pouring green tea
Speak to wife in heaven
Hi tea time my love.
<3> I touched the sea, but
pebbles and sand and sea weeds
had her attention.
<1> some short cut!
up to my ankles
in sticky mud
<10> Sunday afternoon.
The father and the daughter
knead the shortbread dough.
<17> double amputee
out on Wabash Avenue
jaywheeling . . .
<17> morning rush, yet
the nosegay in the sidewalk grate
is undisturbed.
<5> Green and yellow trees
Zig-zag bridges, zig-zag fish
Gardens bring us joy
<12> The mockingbird --
Not yet copying
The children's cries
<6> Thrush, sitting in trees,
Outside a little hamlet,
Singing in chorus.
<8> thistles that I pick
hurt the hand less sharply than
those thrust upon me.
<13> Midday, two cats doze.
The phone stays quiet too. Are
All my friends asleep?
<11> not knowing
where to start--
cheap toilet paper
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<1> SteveYo@aol.com
<2> GaryFrsh@aol.com
<3> Fred Popp
<4> Fischer1@netcom.com
<5> Molly Fischer and Classmates, 8-year old daughter of <4>
<6> bhoffman@cosi.stockton.edu
<7> Katsumi Nakamura
<8> HINCKLEY@MAINE
<9> JLANDRY@UMASSD.BITNET
<10> JTankard@aol.com
<11> Zane Parks <70372.3255@compuserve.com>
(originally in Canadian Writer's Journal 11:4 (1994)).
<12> Tom Frenkel
<13> Helleg@aol.com
<14> John Guglielmelli
<15> LDARGIN@aol.com
<16> Bill Blohm
<17> TrumbullC@aol.com
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IV. Beginner's Corner -- Bill Blohm
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First of all, thanks to all the poets who submitted haiku and rework
for the first iteration of Beginner's Corner. I've one new submission
to Beginner's Corner to present to the readers. This came between
issues, and I had some comments on the original haiku. From Peter
Corless (pcorless@cisco.com) came the following entry for the deer
scene. To the left is the original, to the right is a revised one.
Hiked-out sweaty mess.
Shade, cool falls, (stale lunch)... Then look!
Drinking fawn bounds off.
Hiked-out sweaty mess,
shade, cool falls, stale lunch... Now look!
Drinking fawn bounds off
Most comments from me dealt with the parenthesis not contributing
anything and the difference between the dramatic flow with "Then"
vs "Now" in the middle line. There were also some comments on
the use of capitalization and punctuation similar to what was in
the last issue. A good start and a good re-submit.
Here, then, is the next round of excersise for all who wish to
participate. Yes, if you contributed before to this corner,
you may still contribute. Although it does say Beginner in the
title, it's open to all who want help or simply wish to
participate.
In the last issue it was clear how different writers saw the same
scene differently. That points out one thing that I think we all
know, instinctively: that what is important in a scene to one
poet is not necessarily going to be as vital to another. Our
backgrounds and experiences come into play in selecting what we
perceive as the important parts of a scene. And this makes for
the wide range of great poetry we have available to us to read.
As usual, the assignment is to write a haiku using a basic scene
specified by me. The rules and scene are:
Rules:
strict 5-7-5 format is to be followed
fundamental haiku rules must be followed, except that
you do not have to have been there yourself
any details filled in must be valid for setting
Scene:
You are sitting at the beach watching the sun go down
One note: I have not specified any particular season, any more
than I did last time. In the one about the deer, the impression
I got was that most all the authors had no particular season, but
it was the warm part of the year. It will be interesting to see
if any seasonal aspect shows up in this excersise.
Again, send your work for this particular excersise directly to
me at bblohm@hpbs1686.boi.hp.com and indicate in the subject line
or the body of the message that what your sending is for Dogwood
Blossoms issue 2.1 Beginner's Corner.
If you have any questions about the fundamental rules, e-mail me
and I'll be happy to help you out.
Have at it!
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V. Rediscovering Haiga with Atwood -- Gary Warner
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Most of my haiku reading is done by means of our University's
excellent InterLibrary Loan facilities. Unfortunately, this
means that in most cases I blindly select a few books from a
library's holdings, and have them sent to me. I had noticed
several books of haiku by an author named Ann Atwood, and
requested several of them to get a good sampling.
My first impression was that I had made a bad choice. The books
were almost entirely photographs and seemed to be children's
books. . .something more appropriate for my five year old than
for me, but then read on. The books I received were:
haiku: the mood of the earth (1971)
My own Rhythm -- an approach to haiku(1973)
haiku~vision(1977)
haiku: the mood of the earth(1971)
In this, the first work I found, each haiku was accompanied
by two photographs, the first being a general photograph,
and the second zeroing in from the first to concentrate on
the subject of the haiku at hand. I found this to be a very
natural approach, almost as if the author was inviting you
to accompany her on her journey of writing.
Musings on a gnarled
tree root
my mind leaps
as a stallion rears up!
(This poem is accompanied by two photos, the first showing
a tree root, and the second focusing on a part that does
indeed look like a "stallion"!)
By having her haiku accompanied by photographs, Atwood is able
to make jumps in her poems that would not be possible without
the accompanying photographs. The pictures become PART of the
poetic experience.
"Haiku has been called the poetry of sensation, but
primarily, it is a visual experience", Atwood explains.
My own Rhythm -- an approach to haiku(1973)
I was still not comfortable with the value of the photographs
as a part of haiku. As I read "my approach" Atwood pointed
out the legitimacy of her method. In a fantastic introduction
Atwood imagines her camera in the hands of the masters . . .
Buson first takes the camera, and we see a rock in a tide
pool, gently washed by a wave. Buson, the artist, would
have caught the patterns and colors of the rock in that
transparent interval when the water was still . . .
Issa, so in tune with each portion of nature, feels the surge
of the wave engulfing the small island . . .
Basho, the mystic, would have contemplated the light which
illumined the whole. . .
After discussing the three patterns, Atwood turns to her
own poetry, and following that explanation, one can sense
that each of us would not only have written the haiku
differently, but taken the photo differently, stressing
the things WE interpreted the scene to stress.
"Luminous silence...
only color filling the space
between night and day."
(a sunset makes a lake/cloud merger seem to be viewed through
tinted glass in the picture)
"Spring on the river--
the island-nest of the swans
floating in flowers."
"Spring in the river--
the tips of water grasses
Dripping with diamonds"
(the "whole" scene is illustrated in a center picture, and then,
as if emulating different poets, she focuses the lens first on
the swans, and then on the grass in the water.)
In a very "Issa" poem/photograph
"So slowly you come
small-snail...To you, how far
is the length of my thumb!"
"...the sea fanning out
and folding in upon itself
My own rhythm!"
haiku~vision(1977)
The theme of the third book seems to be developing the right
"mindset" to find haiku in the scenes around us. As Atwood tells
us: "The spontaneity native to photography makes the camera an
effective instrument in developing haiku-vision."
In each book, her approach varies. In haiku~vision, a single
photograph is presented on each page, with one or two accompanying
haiku.
The first drop of rain
on the just-opened blossoms --
how the branch trembles!
(photograph of newly opened blossom among unopened ones,
drenched in rain)
By this point I was really thinking that Atwood was discovering
something new, but Atwood points out, and even a preliminary
survey will reveal its truth, that this was a related art-form
practiced widely at the beginning of the seventeenth century,
"when Zen monks, using a calligraphic, or handwriting, style
of painting, included the words of the haiku as an integral
part of the picture." While part of the beauty of the haiku
is choosing words that relate the scene experienced to the
reader, an equal beauty can be found in using the poem to
draw out or emphasize a portion of the scene related in picture.
"Haiga, like haiku, were brief and highly suggestive...each
recognized space as a positive element, emphasizing that
which was not said was as essential as what was said."
"Shadows and silhouettes are in themselves a kind of haiga
for by eliminating detail they transform the personal into
the universal",
Through darkening trees
the heron hunched on the rail
it is already night.
(photo of heron on a rail, in silhouette against a pale lake,
framed with a blur of dark leaves)
Myself, I am not a photographer, but reading the explanations
that Atwood offers, and seeing how she weaves her poems into
her photographers to create a seamless piece of art, I have
come away with renewed respect for haiku with pictures, the
modern Haiga.
(Other books of photography and text by Ann Atwood include:
The little circle ... Kingdom of the forest ... and
New Moon Cove ... all published by Scribner)
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VI. Showing and Saying -- Pat & Donna Gallagher
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(As means of introduction, Pat has sent us an essay which was
originally published in Geppo Haiku Journal XVI:11, Sept/Oct 94,
and which is reprinted here with the permission of the author)
Showing and Saying
It is a tenet of contemporary philosophy that some things cannot
be said, only shown. Certainly a way to achieve the highest art
of haiku composition or appreciation cannot be put into words.
However, it likely that some useful things can be said that will
help poets who are working to improve their skills. In regards
to learning haiku by studying examples, an excellent resource is
the new book edited by Robert Hass, The Essential Haiku: Versions
of Basho, Buson, and Issa, The Ecco Press, 1994.
A poem I like very much is from Margaret Chulas Grinding my ink:
floating in the sake
left for the beloved
a moth
Presented below are notes on what I can pick out that I like
about both what is presented in the poem and what it avoids
presenting. The strengths described are characteristic of
Margaret's haiku and many of them are often presented as
requirements for excellence in haiku.
The poem references both the human world and the world of nature.
I have noticed poems that do this often have more impact on me
that poems that describe only scenes from nature without a human
element.
I find the poem to be completely intelligible; though we do not
leave sake for our dead loved ones we are familiar enough with
the general human practice to understand what is going on.
It seems to me that the order of the lines is right because it is
essential that the cup of sake and its setting are provided
before the moth. If the moth were in the first line our
attention would be drawn to it to the extent that the other
elements would be somewhat transparent.
The setting of the poem is in an instant of observation. Clearly
the cup of sake and the moth have been there for some time and
will persist, but we see it now!
The scene described is an ordinary one, not an unusual or
singular occasion.
The poem presents no statement of a moral lesson, no personal
reaction or reflection; as readers we have been trusted to
understand why the poet has chosen to bring the scene to our
attention. We have been so well guided by the poet that we do
not have to worry that our understanding may be incorrect.
The syllable count of the lines is 5, 6, 2, presenting enough of
an armature to carry the weight of the poem. The poem is not
telegraphic.
The poem leads me to think about the rituals of remberance, and
how such rememberances and their traces in the world must pass
away.
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VII. Haiku Reductions -- Charles Trumbull
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Dogwood Blossoms No. 8 printed the answer to a riddle about a
mysterious "haiku" that resulted from a reverse translation from
Finnish into English of an American poem that read:
one needs winter's mind
to view the mantle of snow
on evergreen boughs
This turned out to be a rendering of the first stanza of Wallace
Stevens's 1921 poem, "The Snow Man:"
One must have a mind of winter
To regard the frost and the boughs
Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;
And have been cold a long time
To behold the junipers shagged with ice,
The spruces rough in the distant glitter
Of the January sun; and not to think
Of any misery in the sound of the wind,
In the sound of a few leaves,
Which is the sound of the land
Full of the same wind
That is blowing in the same bare place
For the listener, who listens in the snow,
And, nothing himself, beholds
Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is.
Harold Henderson, in his Introduction to Haiku (1958), pointed
out that the climax of Edward Shanks' "Night Piece" is (quite
accidentally) "pure haiku of the highest order:"
So far . . . so low . . .
A drowsy thrush? A waking nightingale?
Silence. We do not know.
Then, in his review of Lucien Stryk's book about Basho, again in
DB No. 8, Andreas Schoter wrote, "It seems to me that what Stryk
has done is to enter into each experience which Basho captures,
internalize it, and then recreate it for us." What an intriguing
thought! I started to speculate about what would happen if we
could enter into the minds of some non-Japanese poets and bring
their thoughts out as haiku.
The following "haiku reductions" are offered as a challenge to DB
readers who want to take a break from more serious pursuits. I
suggest proceeding as follows: first, resist the urge to look at
the full texts below, but examine each of the following four
verses and decide if they work as haiku; second,
try to guess the original poem or poet; then, third, peek:
(1) Pitter, pause, patter --
A cat stalking the city --
Fog!
(2) Dark, deep snow-filled woods
Still the traveler must heed
Restless harness-bells.
(3) A funeral speech
Nobody heard; no one came.
Eleanor Rigby.
(4) A live-oak grows strong,
Unbending, yet so alone
In Louisiana.
Here are the original poems:
(1) The fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
("Fog," from Carl Sandburg, Harvest Poems, 1910-1960. Harcourt Brace
Jovanovich, (c) 1960.)
(2) Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
("Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening," from Robert Frost's
Poems. New York: Washington Square Press, (c) 1971)
(3) Ah, look at all the lonely people!
Ah, look at all the lonely people!
Eleanor Rigby
Picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been,
Lives in a dream,
Waits at the window
Wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door.
Who is it for?
All the lonely people,
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people,
Where do they all belong?
Father McKenzie,
Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear,
No one comes near
Look at him working,
darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there.
What does he care?
All the lonely people,
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people,
Where do they all belong?
Eleanor Rigby
Died in the church and was buried along with her name.
Nobody came.
Father McKenzie,
Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave,
No one was saved.
All the lonely people,
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people,
Where do they all belong?
Ah, look at all the lonely people!
Ah, look at all the lonely people!
("Eleanor Rigby," by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, (c) 1966
Northern Songs Ltd. The song appeared on the Beatles' 1966
album, Revolver. Text copied from X.J. Kennedy, An Introduction
to Poetry, 7th ed. Glenview, IL: Scott, Foresman, 1990)
(4) I saw in Louisiana a live-oak growing,
All alone stood it and the moss hung down from the branches,
Without any companion it grew there uttering joyous leaves
of dark green,
And its look, rude, unbending, lusty, made me think of
myself,
But I wonder'd how it could utter joyous leaves standing all
alone there without its friend near, for I knew I could
not,
And I broke off a twig with a certain number of leaves upon
it, and twined around it a little moss,
And brought it away, and I have placed it in sight in my
room,
It is not needed to remind me as of my own dear friends,
(For I believe lately I think of little else than of them,)
Yet it remains to me a curious token, it makes me think
of manly love;
For all that, and though the live-oak glistens there in
Louisiana solitary in a wide flat space,
Uttering joyous leaves all its life without a friend a lover
near,
I know very well I could not.
("I Saw in Louisiana a Live-oak Growing" from Walt Whitman,
Leaves of Grass. New York: Signet Classics, 1980)
In preparing these reductions I was intrigued by a number of
things: the difficulty of finding and expressing the real kernel
of meaning in a longer poem; the relative wordiness of many
Western works; the intricate relationship of language, form, and
meaning; and, of course the raw hubris of a poetic nobody trying
to gild the lily!
Here is a somewhat more serious reduction attempt of mine:
you too?
sleepless moon,
pale and wasting
This is a verse by an unnamed Indian poet in John Brough, Poems
from the Sanskrit (Penguin, 1968), p. 24:
You are pale, friend moon, and do not sleep at night,
And day by day you waste away.
Can it be that you also
Think only of her, as I do?
Anyone want to try a haiku reduction? Here's a challenge to
reduce one or both of the following poems to a credible haiku (or
senryu). Send them to trumbullc@aol.com and we can discuss them.
(1) I have wished a bird would fly away,
And not sing by my house all day;
Have clapped my hands at him from the door
When it seemed as if I could bear no more.
The fault must partly have been in me.
The bird was not to blame for his key.
And of course there must be something wrong
In wanting to silence any song.
("A Minor Bird," from Robert Frost's Poems. New York: Washington
Square Press, (c) 1971)
(2) Loveliest of trees, the cherry now
Is hung with bloom along the bough,
And stands about the woodland ride
Wearing white for Eastertide.
Now, of my threescore years and ten,
Twenty will not come again,
And take from seventy springs a score,
It only leaves me fifty more.
And since to look at things in bloom
Fifty springs are little room,
About the woodlands I will go
The see the cherry hung with snow.
("Loveliest of Trees, the Cherry Now," by A.E. Houseman, copied
from Kennedy, op. cit.)
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VIII. Assignments for Future Issues
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The editors thank all who submitted the articles and haiku that
make up this issue of Dogwood Blossoms.
To all our readers, we ask that you continue to send in your
original haiku, and any haiku related articles that you think
may interest other haiku poets. Additionally, please consider
trying one or more of the following "Assignments":
1. Try out the "Beginner's Corner". Send Bill your poems for
comment, and let us share in your creative process!
2. If you have any ideas that you think will help others write
haiku, write it up and send it in. If it helps you, it will
probably help someone else. And that's one of the goals of
Dogwood Blossoms: haiku poets helping haiku poets.
3. WE ARE DESPERATE FOR ORIGINAL HAIKU!!!!!
As ever, we always want and need your original haiku.
Sometimes we get enough, sometimes not, and sometimes so many
we carry them over to another issue. But we are always
interested in your original haiku. If you don't want to
publish it, but do want some help and constructive criticism,
we'll respect that also.
4. We're always looking for book reviews and recommendations.
Write up your favorite book of haikus, book about writing
haikus, or anything about haikus. Please include the ISBN of
the book, the publishers, the date of publication, and the
author. This will help others to track down a copy of the
book.
5. If you enjoyed Charles' "Haiku Reductions" you may wish
to participate in this assignment. Watch what you read for
haiku-like passages, whether it be in published poetry,
fiction, or the newspaper! We'll be collecting these
submissions for a future article, please indicate the
original source and use a subject "Haiku Reduction".
6. Send a short note, telling what you thought of issue 2.1, or
responding to any of the Haiku that were included in this
issue. Encourage the contributors! Let them know what you
thought of their submissions. Offer suggestions for
improvement and why you think it would be an improvement. We
delibrately include their e-mail addresses (unless requested
not to) so that you can e-mail the author if you prefer.
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